I am Jack's Broken Heart: 2012-10-14

What if, you met someone and fell in love. Like really fell hard.

Now, IMAGINE, this person you love is obese. Not fat, not roly poly, not chubby; clinically obese. You don't care, right. I mean, sure, you want the best for this wonderful person but, seriously, who gives a shit, this person is lovely in every way; funny, sexy, warm, true, honest, compassionate, cute, talented, and he or she ADORES you, etc etc etc . And, like some folks with weight issues, this boy/girl does the best he or she can, it's part of their DNA. So.

Imagine this: You call your family, excited as hell, about your new love. You are proud, happy; it's fucking infectious, right. You tell them everything out of pure joy......"she's sexy and funny and holy shit she makes me laugh and she leaves little love notes in my lunch box and she laughs at how awkward I am and she's obese omg she did the sweetest thing for me the other day...."
They interrupt your excitement.. You know where I'm going. Not one motherfucking word was heard, not your happiness, not your joy, not the obnoxious little details love makes one 'in love' spew forth.
"She's what?", they ask.
"She's super funny, I said", you say.
"Not that", they say, sternly now. You know the conversation's turned cold but you're not sure how or why. "She's obese??"

So, not only are they surprised by this ONE little detail, they are also disgusted, astonished, just plain old fucking mean about it. Not only are you devastated by this, you are disgusted by their prejudice, injustice, lack of compassion, lack of love, and the fact they missed the biggest fact of all: You are in love and happy.

Keep imagining this person you are IN LOVE with is not welcomed in any way. Your family doesn't want to meet her, spend time with her and she most definitely will not be spending the holidays under their roof. UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. Because, according to your family, obesity is wrong, a sin, disgusting, she's a glutton and made a choice and they will not support it.

It sounds pretty fucking ridiculous, right. No one this day and age could be so blind, so judgmental so mean, so unloving; not towards their own child?

I am not obese. I am Gay. And the above did and is happening to me. In the past. Now. In every relationship I've had with another woman. I've NOT spent one holiday with my family if and when I had a Girlfriend. My family (sans one sister) have never, ever met one single woman I was seeing, never asked me about my relationships, always avoided any questions or anything that might bring it up, which, obviously meant ignoring me, as a person.

I've lived with this kind of prejudice, fear, aggression, rejection since I came out over 15 years ago. And it still boggles my mind and breaks my heart. I will not wrap it up with some candy apple quote or melt into a saucy bag of tears. Watch your fucking heart and make sure you're not fucking breaking someone else's with your baggage, fear, and all the other excuses we use to kill one another with.

MJ